Go USA!

One word has been used to describe me many times by many people in my life.  No, not that one.  The word is stubborn.  I have heard my mom on numerous occasions utter this word.  I think some of my closest friends think that my name is synonymous with it.  I prefer to think of myself as having an overabundant amount of perseverance; it seems more socially acceptable that way.  But deep down, I know I’m stubborn.

So, what does a stubborn girl who was unintentionally tortured by her kind acupuncture doctor do?  She goes back for more.  Yup, I had my second prickly treatment on Saturday with much, much better results.  Besides having only a couple of spastic moments accompanied by minor involuntary grunts, my symptoms are actually decreasing.  I would have never guessed that when I woke up after my first treatment on the following morning I would be able to roll over in bed without the use of all of my extremities.  My back feels like its age again, and I am amazed. 

Saturday’s treatment (#2 if you’re counting) was a success.  Well, almost.  Dr. Flicky Fingers inadvertently left one needle in my knee after removing the other hundred.  She walked out of the room, and I swung my legs off of the bed when my shimmering friend caught my eye.  Honest mistake, I’m sure.  Upon finding this little silver jewel, I scoured the walls for a handy chart for occasions such as this.  No such luck…so I had to do some quick thinking.  Do I run, or hobble rather, out of the treatment room, yell my doctor’s name while pointing to the left-behind memento hoping she will come to my aid OR do I suck it up and yank it out while praying that I do it correctly so as to avoid paralysis?  Considering I had lost some of my dignity at my first visit, I opted for the latter.  Inhaling a deep breath and praying for a successful extraction, I jerked the little sucker out and to my astonishment, I was able to move my leg.  Fearless.  Yeah, right.

Today was treatment #3.  Feeling pretty certain that I would not encounter too much pain this time, I was excited to start…that is until I saw what my doctor brought into the room with her.  In my post-first-visit research, I learned about the use of cups in acupuncture.  In her box of goodies, Dr. Full-of-Surprises had various sizes of clear plastic suction cups.  These translucent domes were going to be placed on my skin, and air was going to be suctioned from each one.  According to one website, “the suction on the surface of the skin from the cup stimulates blood flow in the area, relieves congestion and inflammation in the muscles and opens up pathways to eliminate toxins.”  Notice there is no mention of pain or dark red circles left on the skin.  Well, I’m here to take one for the team and let you in on the reality of this ancient treatment.  Surprisingly, it really wasn’t too painful…physically.  Seeing my skin stretched inside the cups made me a little, ok, a lot, queasy.  Emotionally, however, it was brutal because my “affected area” was near my posterior hip region.  I’m going to leave it at that, but I’m sure you can figure out where I am temporarily sporting a mark very closely resembling the Olympic rings.  What can I say…Go USA!