Runners Are Weird

Runners are weird. Weird to the rest of the world, I guess. We become downright giddy when we get to spend over a hundred dollars on a pair of new running shoes. We arrange family events around our training schedule and even ask people to move their wedding dates so as not to conflict with our races. We pound the pavement for hours leaving us with black toenails and blisters. And we LOVE it! We know we’re a little “out there,” but it’s “there” that we feel so empowered.

With that being said, runners who are training for marathons can be quite schedule-oriented. We have a certain number of miles to run each week leading up to a “long-run” that most of us do on Saturdays. And the Wise Ones (coaches, experienced runners, and the writers of Runner’s World magazine) stress the importance of getting these week-day runs in so as to avoid injury. Those with a gym membership can knock out their runs at their leisure. The rest of us have to be creative about when we can fit in our daily run. I was in the latter group a few years ago with an unexpected result.

Allow me to take you back . . . it was August. In Texas. The temperature was squelching hot, and the thought of running after I dismissed my kids at school lead me to creatively problem solve. I decided it would be a fantastic idea to wake up very early and run at 4:30 a.m. I planned to run in my neighborhood and take with me my trusty companion, Dakota. This seemed like a good idea. I could get my miles in, beat the heat, and start the day with a little more energy which is sometimes necessary when teaching seven year olds. Yup, it’s what I would do. So I started running at this crazy hour for a couple of weeks. At first, it was a little weird. It was pitch black, silent, not a soul in sight, but I was able to get in my miles and avoid the heat. Dakota loved running with me, and my plan was working out beautifully. Well, that is until . . .

Dakota and I turned down a street that backs up to a small airport that is nestled next to my neighborhood. This street looks like Anywhere, U.S.A. – houses on both sides of the street with people sleeping peacefully in their beds. I had run down this street hundreds of times, and even at 4 in the morning, it never caused me any alarm. As we made our way down this street, up ahead I noticed something out of place. I couldn’t figure out what it was, but I just knew something wasn’t in the right place. My guard dog and I kept running as I tried to identify what I was seeing. The closer I got to “it,” the more I started to see the outline of a person. “Hmmm…that’s strange!” I thought, but I continued running. (Note to self and anyone else running this early: when you think something is strange, turn around.) And that’s when I put 1 and 1 together. Yup, you do the math. 1 + 1 = 2, right? I didn’t see just one person. No, Sports Fans, I saw two people. What were they doing, you ask? Well, let’s just say they were, um, well…uh…I think you know what was going on. [pause for ghastly gasp] Yeah, right there in the street, well, on the street. Covered up only with a bed sheet. [pause for even more appalling gasp] The Nike slogan, “Just Do It” took on a new meaning for me that day.

I ran the rest of my route faster than I ever had. The visual of those weirdos had been seared into my memory. Blech! As I dialed the “non-emergency” line of my police department when I got home, I tried to select just the right words. But when Non-Emergency Lady answered, all could say was, “Hi…um, I need to report some suspicious, well, um, some, uh…” Her response was, “I know what you saw. You don’t need to say anything else.” Great, I thought. This is happening all over my town. Gross! Needless to say, I was so freaked out by the neighborhood freaks that I couldn’t continue running that early.

But this Monday starts a new school year and a training schedule that necessitates the daily miles. Since I don’t have a gym membership or a treadmill, I will be bravely running again in the early morning hours. Yes, Mom, I’ll take my dog, my mace, and a light. And yes to the rest of the world – runners are weird. But this runner is doing this to help save lives and find a cure.